Janet Sack writes:
20 days ago I posted on Facebook how this journey was exhausting, frustrating, confusing, perplexing, aggravating and rewarding. Since then and up until earlier this week, many asked why I hadn’t posted updates on Facebook. Today, if I were to answer that question, it would be because, in the midst of the journey, it became even more exhausting, frustrating, confusing, perplexing, aggravating and yes, even rewarding.
During March, most of Bruce’s days were “status quo,” meaning, excellent vital signs, seizures were far and few between even with decreases in his seizure med levels. He loved it when the nurses sang to him, he awoke and looked into their eyes, and then he yawned when I tried to sing, read or care for him. He didn’t move backward in healing according to CT scans but he wasn’t moving forward. So the past few weeks were all about caring for him in an incredibly convoluted process of private and public health care, insurance and disability.
The past few weeks became a tremendous spiritual struggle, how do I pray for miraculous healing, yet, follow the world’s advice of funeral preplanning? How do I read the Medicare evaluations of skilled nursing facilities and find the best place of future care? How do I find the strength to sit by his bedside, daily, and not see any improvements? How do I tell family and friends on March 25th we would not see the miracle healing we “hoped” for?
I don’t believe that we missed out on seeing a miracle. God has been a part of this journey the entire time. He has been the journey the entire time. I believe this journey for Bruce and for all of us has been the ability to see God in each and every step and in each and every breath in each and every moment. Sometimes those moments were quite obvious and others not so.
Even on Tuesday, God orchestrated the entire day. Bruce was surrounded by our favorite doctor, nurse and care team. None of which were scheduled to work that day. David, Emily, Elizabeth and I were together in Hazlehurst, packing and trading out our winter clothes for spring clothes to carry us along in this journey in the warming Tallahassee weather (sorry snowed in northern family).
We meditated constantly on Tuesday on the Jesus Calling devotion which started, “This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete.” In moments of fear we called to check on Bruce, and again received the “status quo” update.
Many are asking; “are you ok?” “What can we do for you, what do you need?” I realize in this time of mourning, we are not “ok” we are sad, tearful and I would honestly say totally exhausted. The hardest part of this journey was perhaps on early Wednesday morning after the doctor called. As our Wed. morning devotion reminded us, “Let thankfulness temper all your thoughts.” So, we as the Georgia Sack Family Four fell on our knees and tearfully cried out thanking the Lord for Bruce’s total and complete healing. That was probably the hardest thing to do in this journey, bowing down with David, Emily and Elizabeth and thanking the Lord in the midst of our wailing. And that is the hardest thing I ask of you this morning, to remember, that as you face challenges and blessings in your “todays” to remember to “let thankfulness temper all your thoughts.”
After prayerful consideration, Bruce’s memorial service will be on Saturday April 11th at 11am at Tifton First United Methodist Church in Tifton, GA. Bowen Donaldson funeral home (www.Bowen-Donaldson.com) is in charge of the arrangements and one of Bruce’s most faithful friends, Rev. Gary Minton will be officiating. Further details will be posted at a later time. As a family, we believe this date honors this upcoming Holy Week, a week that Bruce loved so much in the life of the church and gives us time to prepare a service that will honor God in a typical “Sack Family Production” type way. We are prayerfully considering a memorial service in Pennsylvania at a later time for family and friends that will not be able to attend in Georgia.